I love you and you won't ever love me back
by Jokess
Summary: How Kagome feels when InuYasha once and for all chooses Kikyo. One shot.


Kagome's pov

I saw you from a tree jealousy keeping me in silence. She was there again but she said not so she could kill you. She said she was there to hold you forever. She said she had changed and I could see she had. When she embraced you with such love I could barely look and I had to turn away when she kissed you.

I never knew I felt this strongly about you but now I know for sure since you weren't under her spell that you had chosen her. I knew this but I still cried and you didn't even notice. You continued to kiss your first love Kikyo. And as I stood there watching you only one thought could race through my mind. _'I love you but you won't ever love me back.' _After that thought raced through my mind a couple of times my tears became more frequent and still you did not notice me.

I never hated anyone before. Not even Naruko. I didn't know what hate was until I saw her with you. I felt like she didn't deserve you. She didn't deserve to live even and it took all the strength I had to not interfere. Because I knew you would want me to stay out of it. And I knew you would not feel sorry for leaving me.

_'I love you. But you won't ever love me back.' _As I watched you hate I never knew I had continued to boil. Plots of her death ran through my mind but as they did I knew I could not carry them out. And that was because I knew it would hurt you so much. And I know I could never hurt you.

As the thought _'I love you. But you won't ever love me back.' _Ran through my mind yet again more thoughts ran through my mind. _'She loves you and you love her. I'm nothing to you anymore and I can do nothing to change that. I want to hold you and have you all to myself but I can't and I know it too. But still I can't help feel I have lost part of myself. I mean I knew for the longest time you had chosen her but before I did not seem real. I felt like I still had a chance because you always came back to me. But I know now you won't come back and everything is too real. '_

All through out this I cried my tears could never have stopped. Through out all this I knew I had lost the only one I would ever hope to love. Through all of this I knew my life would never be the same. And through all of this I knew I would only have memories of you to remember you by. Through all of this I watched you as you began to walk away fingers entwined. And as you disappeared I could not help but to call out your name. "InuYasha." I said softly but you heard and turned to me. You were so surprised and for a moment I could have sworn I saw annoyance in your eyes. And then you said the words I feared most of all. The words I knew you were going to say from the beginning though it still hurt like never before.

"Kagome, I can't see you anymore. I've chosen Kikyo." _'Not even I'm sorry or I'll always remember you.' _I thought. I also though that I could cry no harder and I was wrong. My face was a virtual waterfall as you totally disappeared and I was left with only memories.

Sure I saw you from time to time but you never were the same. She had a hold of your heart forever. I knew this but I still could not get over the fact that you had chosen her over me and now two thoughts ran through my mind._ 'I love you but you won't ever love me back. Kagome, I can't see you anymore. I've chosen Kikyo.' _ This was all I could ever think about for the longest time. And always after I thought these things softly to myself I would say. "Not even a good bye or I'll always remember you"

The others noticed my mood and did all they could to help. But there advice and worry was of no use and I told them that myself. The only thing that could ever make things right in my heart was if you left her and came for me. But I knew that was impossible. I knew you had made your choice and I knew you would always be happy.

As now as I walk to the well I think of what my friends in my time felt. I told them I had broke up with you and this was once and for all. My friends were smart enough to see I loved you ad stopped questioning me. Now they only try to comfort me and just like Sango, Miroku and even Shippo they don't listen when I say nothing can help me.

I know that's what true friends do but still I can't help but feel angry at them. They don't know how it is to loose someone you truly love. Only I know that feeling. Or perhaps Kikyo knew it too but now she has you back and I'll be alone forever. _'I love you but you won't ever love me back.' _ I say that aloud now but no one else hears me. It's my own private way of remembering you. Weird I know.

Everyone seems to know you have left me. Like Koga for instances. About an hour after you walked away from me he came to me. That heartless demon. He said to forget about you and to come with him. He loved me and that would never change. He said he would never betray you like he did. I was so mad at him. He jus thought I could forget the one I loved so much so easily. I surprised him when I started crying but I surprised him more when I slapped him across the face. And I don't regret that fact either. I know Koga doesn't love me the way I love you. No one could ever love a person as I did you. So I've decided to stay alone forever.

You see what you did to me InuYasha? You totally broke my heart. And now it will never mend. The others are furious with you if you really care. But I know you don't. All you care about is spending time with her. You've totally forgotten me and you won't ever remember me either. You even forgot about the jewel shards and Naraku. Everyday I feel as if Kikyo will finally convince you to work with Naraku since he was Onigumo. But I also doubt you would need much convincing to do anything Kikyo says. I know how powerful love is after all. If you told me right now to remove the rosary beads of your neck I would. And I would not remove them simply because you have changed but because you asked. Even if you cursed the sun away while you asked I would still take them off for you. That's how much I love you InuYasha.

I know writing this down is useless and I know crying myself to sleep is useless. It won't ever bring you back to me. But I still do both these things. I just can't help it. ._ 'I love you but you won't ever love me back' _

That's all I ever think about now. I've really wasted away. I barely eat. I barely do anything for that matter. My family is real worried about me too. They so don't go back to your time. But that is what I'm doing going back so I can remember you. But I know you don't care if my family is worried about me. I know you don't care that they would do anything for me and that they love me. Unlike you do. I know you don't care about anything but Kikyo but still I wish you would care. I wish at the least you would care about me as a friend.

But I know that my wish will never be so. And I know even if I gave the jewel shards to Naraku you wouldn't care. I'll tell you this though. Now I wish that Naraku would kill Kikyo. That way she would be gone and you would come to me. But I also know, though I refuse to believe it stubborn as I am, that even if Kikyo did die...again and forever you would not go back with me but you would follow her to the grave. _'I love you but you won't ever love me back.'_

And now here I am waiting for Miroku or Sango to come to the well instead of you. And that fact hurts me as much as it hurts to lose you. I know I'll never forget you InuYasha. You'll be on my mind everyday twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. So I guess ironic as it is. I'm just like you. I can't forget my first true love.

_'I love you but you won't ever love me back.'_

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Skiergirl-sniffles that's all. Oh and if anyone cares I might do a one shot where InuYasha chooses Kagome and it's Kikyo's point of view. But to know if I should do that or not I need reviews.


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